Does my life belong to me now, or do I still owe it to my children?  What if my heart believes one thing, and my children would have me believe something else, or nothing at all?  What if I am one person and my children would have me be someone else?

I am not an evil-doer.  I strive to be a doer of love.  I believe in a Divine Creator and an orderly Universe.  I believe in life after death, a spirit world inhabited by saints and angels, and in reincarnation.  I believe my purpose in this lifetime has been to learn and grow in my knowledge of how the universe works, to understand the divine spark in each of us, and to recognize that we are all connected.  I do not ever ask anyone to believe what I believe, only to recognize my right to believe it.  It is my truth, just as you and you and you each have a truth of your own.  I love that about everyone, each having your own truth and, importantly, speaking it.

I make some of the most important people in my life very uncomfortable.  They would undoubtedly like it so much better if I would just forget all this spirituality stuff and be content as a nice normal mom and grandma.  I do love being that, but I am more.

I am blessed with the gifts of intuition and energy healing.  My only desire is to use these gifts to help others.  And I do help others.  Sometimes it just means that a person comes to me with a raging headache and leaves without it.  Sometimes it means that I can energetically open an area of emotional pain and release it in healing sobbing.  Sometimes I can discern something that should be checked out medically.  Sometimes I can just be the person who listens.  Or who laughs with you.  I do not believe that I am doing harm.

Unbelievably, I am struggling with the possiblility of giving up what I do, and believe, in order to preserve peace in the family.  One person is particularly upset by who I am and how I think and feel.  The breach is wide and possibly permanent, unless I apologize for being who I am, and change my ways.

I can shut it all down or put it in a dark closet of secrecy.  Or I can stand strong in the light, speak my truth, do my work with love, and live with the consequences no matter how painful they are.

At this moment I do not feel able to do either of those things.  God help me.  Please.